Chemo no. 44

Hi it's me again!
This is a recent photo wearing my new and improved (since the first time I lost all my hair) wig! The photo Gemma posted on the first blog, (Love that one Gem!) was taken in 2007. I'd just been diagnosed with bone mets (so my lovely upbeat Doc turned out to be uber -upbeat..it did spread!)Although he was right about the 5 years..I was ok for 6! (They don't tell you what happens after the 5 year statistical cut-off!) I was having radiotherapy to my cervical spine (neck) at the time, hence the floaty scarf look!

So now its 5 years on from that time, and boy doesn't it show!! Last bit of historical info: Bone mets diagnosed in May 2007, Then Liver mets in September 2007, when I began notching up all the chemo sessions I mentioned..........

Neat segueway(?) to Chemo no.44! Not quite like Mambo no.5...well nothing like it really, but I wouldn't say it is totally devoid of jolly frivolity (similar to that experienced listening to, or singing along with Mambo, as you do...WE do anyway, right Gemma?)

The thing is this:  tomorrow I have to go to the hospital for my 2nd (3 weekly) cycle of chemo for this round. As implied above, I have mixed feelings about it, which means not ALL dread and terror.
In some perverse way, I actually look forward to these chemo-days!! And I'll tell you for why....
R (husband) drops me at the hospital mid-morning and toddles off to do  a half-day at the office. I am then left with 3 or 4 hours to kill before my appointment, and as luck would have it my best friend lives only 20 mins. away so more often than not meets me for coffee,lunch and a spot of retail therapy, because as luck(markII) would have it, there are not one but 2 shopping malls almost annexed to the hospital! Of course  it can make chemo-days more expensive than your non-chemo variety, but hey..I hardly ever go anywhere or spend any money during my"poorly periods".! OK, yes, Gemma, I use the same rationale for unnecesarry online shopping in the middle of the night, when I'm on the steroids...I bought a full colour range of Birkenstocks last summer and 2 pairs of Uggs to be on the safe side for the winter in case I had Palmar/plantar syndrome (sore ,red, flaking hands and feet..drug side-effect)!!

The other reason I actually WANT it to be a chemo-day is because it means I'm knocking another sesh off the list...usually 6 at least, and it gives you a sense of security that something is being done to kick my tumours' arse(s?).

The feelings are , however, "mixed" as I approach the C-day, becuase it means within 3 days of it (once those bloody wonderful steroids wear off!) I will crash like I've fallen off a sky-scaper, I will feel like I've been run-over by an articulated lorry, kicked by a gang of yobs, front and back,and have the distinct impression that the Incredible Hulk is permanently sitting on my head. On top of that I will feel weak, faint, sick, have constipation, no appetite, but no energy to make anything to eat anyway AND a mouthful of excrutiating mouth ulcers, so I can't speak (purgatory) and couldn't eat even if Jamie Oliver popped in to cook me a little of something I fancy!!

So you see..it ISN'T at all   comparable to an upbeat, cheery singalong song...it really is pretty shitty, but at least , as I've been told by a well-meaning family member, I AM lucky really,because I have a lovely-shaped head!!....
MORE TO COME, POSSIBLY FUELLED BY STEROIDS......