So..... I am not doing chemo and I have not got a lovely shiny bald head (but quite frankly wouldn't mind not having to shave my legs every other day....I know the cost would be a little high here, but you know, grass is always greener!)
I do however have a big interest in all things hair / makeup. And I thought perhaps some practical advice about wigs might help some people out there that are doing chemo for the first time and are losing their hair and are terrified/full of drugs/tired/lethargic/overwhelmed (there are more adjectives I could come up with, but I don't want to bore you just yet!) I am obviously drawing on some of my mum's experiences here, but some of my own too.
First thing they don't tell you is that it comes out in clumps (The hair). And it strikes suddenly and when you least expect it, just like a ninja in the night. You wake up and the hair is in your eyes, in your mouth, up your nose....if there's a space to settle in, it will find it! I imagine it's how "Cousin It" from the Addams family would feel ALL the time. You won't believe you even had that much hair in the first place! It might not be quick so you could have patches that are hair free and patches that have long glorious tresses coming from them! I'd advise cutting your hair shorter before these patches start to appear so it's not so traumatic for you when it actually happens.
Mum says to be prepared and make sure you have your wig BEFORE the hair does its great escape. This time round, she shaved her head pretty soon after it started falling out. (By the way, any mother daughters out there should watch this video. It'll make you sob your blooming heart out, but it's beautiful and it reminds you how close the bond is between mums and daughters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k71yMr5YWjA&feature=youtu.be )
Anyway, you might not be ready for no 1 buzz cut as quickly as my mum because she'd seen herself bald before. If it's the first time you're losing your hair it's not an easy thing to go through, I think it's a huge deal for women and some women feel like their femininity is being taken away, but as you can see in the picture below, my mum looks beautiful and womanly and I think there are practical ways that you can help yourself to feel feminine and attractive without a glorious barnet.
So, back to wigs. I agree with mum about not buying them online. About 90% of the wigs you find online are being modelled by Raquel Welch! It's the most bizarre thing! Now, not only do we not all look like Raquel Welch (and as beautiful as she is, thank god we all don't! How boring would that be?), but some of those wigs (in fact a lot of them) don't even suit her!! I think if you have no other choice, then of course you will have to buy one online, but I would make sure it's as similar to your own hair type and style as possible so you will still feel more like you and it's not even more of a shock!
Having said that, different strokes for different folks! Some people (and i admire them) will use this as an opportunity to experiment with their hair in a way perhaps they never had the guts to before. One day they're Farah Fawcett, the next Jennifer Aniston, the next they're sporting a Demi Moore crop...the possibilities are endless! It can actually be quite good fun trying out different looks! Maybe you were a brunette all your life and you want to try out the theory "Blondes have more fun" (in the moments when you don't feel like you might vomit at any second) Or maybe you've always had curly hair, but longed to see what it would be like to have straight hair! Now's your chance!
When my mum lost her hair 6 years ago, I bought her a few different wigs from a market in Peckham (I was actually really impressed with the range of styles and quality and also prices!) One was black and short, one was reddish and longer and one was blonde and she actually quite enjoyed trying the different looks and seeing herself in a different way (and my brother and I taking the mickey and sporting them ourselves...as in the pic on a previous blog my mum did). Obviously I am not saying this is the most fun she's ever had, and I'm not suggesting you would prefer to have a bald head and try out loads of different wigs instead of having cancer, but I am saying that you can be a little bit light hearted about it. It is possible. And it might make you feel better, which is what this blog is all about.
If you are, however of the school of thinking that you just want to look like "you", I would advise going to a wig shop and actually trying some on. There are so many different types - synthetic hair, real hair, thick, fine, different sizes for different sizes of head, different partings in the hair etc etc. I would try on lots and really get one that you feel comfortable in and one that you thinks suits your colouring and perhaps is very close to your natural / usual hair colour.
A really good starting point if you live in the UK is the Wig Suppliers Association, who work really hard to ensure that the suppliers are providing wigs of great quality and are providing a good service to their customers http://www.hbsa.uk.com/wigs.html
So the first thing is finding somewhere to buy the wig, the next thing is fitting it. Apparently there are all sorts of different types of cap sizes and ways of adjusting them. Some of them have ear flaps that can make you feel like Biggles if they're too big and if he wig's too big for your head or some make you feel like Martin Clunes if you try to push your hair behind your ears! I'd advise when trying on wigs to adjust, readjust, do all the things you would do with your natural hair and see which wig feels most natural to you. It's never going to feel like your own hair, but it should be comfortable if you're going to wear it all day!
Another thing nobody tells you is that you should go to get a wig cut!!!! You might not be able to find a wig in exactly the same style as your hair naturally was. According to my mum most wigs have way too much hair on them. It just doesn't look natural! Particularly if you're a person like her or me who have fine, silky hair. The best way to ensure you look like you and to ensure you look good and therefore feel good in your wig is to take it to a hairdresser to style it! Amazingly wonderful, unbelievably talented, celebrity and award winning hairdresser Trevor Sorbie (hope he reads this and I get a free hair cut!!) has a wig cutting service at his salons that I believe is free and he's started a charity that is there to help you with selecting wigs, finding somewhere to get your wig cut, what to expect with a wig, in fact, pretty much all the advice you might need is on there...EXCEPT what to name it! (See my mum's last posts)
Here's the web address for My New Hair (Trevor's charity):
http://www.mynewhair.org/Home.aspx
If you haven't got much spare cash, I am told that you can get wigs on the NHS! Here's a link I found that I thought might be helpful:
http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcosts/Pages/Wigsandfabricsupports.aspx
Here's a couple of recent wigged pics of my beautiful Ma to show that you can get wigs that look and feel right!
More wig tips to come soon!!
Gem xxx
I do however have a big interest in all things hair / makeup. And I thought perhaps some practical advice about wigs might help some people out there that are doing chemo for the first time and are losing their hair and are terrified/full of drugs/tired/lethargic/overwhelmed (there are more adjectives I could come up with, but I don't want to bore you just yet!) I am obviously drawing on some of my mum's experiences here, but some of my own too.
First thing they don't tell you is that it comes out in clumps (The hair). And it strikes suddenly and when you least expect it, just like a ninja in the night. You wake up and the hair is in your eyes, in your mouth, up your nose....if there's a space to settle in, it will find it! I imagine it's how "Cousin It" from the Addams family would feel ALL the time. You won't believe you even had that much hair in the first place! It might not be quick so you could have patches that are hair free and patches that have long glorious tresses coming from them! I'd advise cutting your hair shorter before these patches start to appear so it's not so traumatic for you when it actually happens.
Mum says to be prepared and make sure you have your wig BEFORE the hair does its great escape. This time round, she shaved her head pretty soon after it started falling out. (By the way, any mother daughters out there should watch this video. It'll make you sob your blooming heart out, but it's beautiful and it reminds you how close the bond is between mums and daughters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k71yMr5YWjA&feature=youtu.be )
Anyway, you might not be ready for no 1 buzz cut as quickly as my mum because she'd seen herself bald before. If it's the first time you're losing your hair it's not an easy thing to go through, I think it's a huge deal for women and some women feel like their femininity is being taken away, but as you can see in the picture below, my mum looks beautiful and womanly and I think there are practical ways that you can help yourself to feel feminine and attractive without a glorious barnet.
So, back to wigs. I agree with mum about not buying them online. About 90% of the wigs you find online are being modelled by Raquel Welch! It's the most bizarre thing! Now, not only do we not all look like Raquel Welch (and as beautiful as she is, thank god we all don't! How boring would that be?), but some of those wigs (in fact a lot of them) don't even suit her!! I think if you have no other choice, then of course you will have to buy one online, but I would make sure it's as similar to your own hair type and style as possible so you will still feel more like you and it's not even more of a shock!
Having said that, different strokes for different folks! Some people (and i admire them) will use this as an opportunity to experiment with their hair in a way perhaps they never had the guts to before. One day they're Farah Fawcett, the next Jennifer Aniston, the next they're sporting a Demi Moore crop...the possibilities are endless! It can actually be quite good fun trying out different looks! Maybe you were a brunette all your life and you want to try out the theory "Blondes have more fun" (in the moments when you don't feel like you might vomit at any second) Or maybe you've always had curly hair, but longed to see what it would be like to have straight hair! Now's your chance!
When my mum lost her hair 6 years ago, I bought her a few different wigs from a market in Peckham (I was actually really impressed with the range of styles and quality and also prices!) One was black and short, one was reddish and longer and one was blonde and she actually quite enjoyed trying the different looks and seeing herself in a different way (and my brother and I taking the mickey and sporting them ourselves...as in the pic on a previous blog my mum did). Obviously I am not saying this is the most fun she's ever had, and I'm not suggesting you would prefer to have a bald head and try out loads of different wigs instead of having cancer, but I am saying that you can be a little bit light hearted about it. It is possible. And it might make you feel better, which is what this blog is all about.
If you are, however of the school of thinking that you just want to look like "you", I would advise going to a wig shop and actually trying some on. There are so many different types - synthetic hair, real hair, thick, fine, different sizes for different sizes of head, different partings in the hair etc etc. I would try on lots and really get one that you feel comfortable in and one that you thinks suits your colouring and perhaps is very close to your natural / usual hair colour.
A really good starting point if you live in the UK is the Wig Suppliers Association, who work really hard to ensure that the suppliers are providing wigs of great quality and are providing a good service to their customers http://www.hbsa.uk.com/wigs.html
So the first thing is finding somewhere to buy the wig, the next thing is fitting it. Apparently there are all sorts of different types of cap sizes and ways of adjusting them. Some of them have ear flaps that can make you feel like Biggles if they're too big and if he wig's too big for your head or some make you feel like Martin Clunes if you try to push your hair behind your ears! I'd advise when trying on wigs to adjust, readjust, do all the things you would do with your natural hair and see which wig feels most natural to you. It's never going to feel like your own hair, but it should be comfortable if you're going to wear it all day!
Another thing nobody tells you is that you should go to get a wig cut!!!! You might not be able to find a wig in exactly the same style as your hair naturally was. According to my mum most wigs have way too much hair on them. It just doesn't look natural! Particularly if you're a person like her or me who have fine, silky hair. The best way to ensure you look like you and to ensure you look good and therefore feel good in your wig is to take it to a hairdresser to style it! Amazingly wonderful, unbelievably talented, celebrity and award winning hairdresser Trevor Sorbie (hope he reads this and I get a free hair cut!!) has a wig cutting service at his salons that I believe is free and he's started a charity that is there to help you with selecting wigs, finding somewhere to get your wig cut, what to expect with a wig, in fact, pretty much all the advice you might need is on there...EXCEPT what to name it! (See my mum's last posts)
Here's the web address for My New Hair (Trevor's charity):
http://www.mynewhair.org/Home.aspx
If you haven't got much spare cash, I am told that you can get wigs on the NHS! Here's a link I found that I thought might be helpful:
http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Healthcosts/Pages/Wigsandfabricsupports.aspx
Here's a couple of recent wigged pics of my beautiful Ma to show that you can get wigs that look and feel right!
More wig tips to come soon!!
Gem xxx
Great post Gem, and your mum looks fab in the photos!
ReplyDeleteI have been into Trevor Sorbie when he has been cutting wigs, he is an incredibly talented man and he makes people feel so special, well done for this great blog Gem and your mum really is stunning, now I know where you get your beaufiful looks from x
ReplyDelete