My People.......Barnaby

Yet again,in these "guest blogs" I am blown away by a) the quality of the writing, b) the willingness to contribute and last, but not least c)the amount of emotion that has gone into formulating such a sensitive and cohesive comment on Life with a cancer sufferer! This next blog is by my own amazingly talented all-singing and song-writing son.He has asked me to say that he IS defined by his music, he lives and suffers with it and there is as yet no known cure!He also wants you to know that he is very good-looking, incredibly modest and loves his mum! (He didn't really ask me to say any of that but it sounds like boasting about yourself, when you boast about your children...)
Oh, to hell with it, I'm just going to boast!!! The fact is that I am unerringly proud of him...Yes, for his total focus on his music career in a notoriously difficult field and in a foreign country to boot! I am also grateful that he has this all-cosuming distraction from what is going on at his mum's end! As mothers ,we never want to have our children feel sad or be in any pain..........when it is you who is, to all intents and purposes, causing them that anguish , it is utterly unbearable to contemplate. Thus for a long time I tried to protect him as best I could , but even though Barney is my "youngest", I have learned that he is  way stronger than I thought. He is staunchly protective of ME ,and has proven his love and devotion to me time and again! I am mostly proud to call him my son, because as tough as he is , he is not afraid to show his sensitivity and emotional side. I believe I have raised a decent, honest, loving young man and you can't ask for more than that....Oh....except a walk down the red carpet  on his arm at the Grammys, in the near future!!!

Barney's Blog

I spent a while wondering what I should write about here on my small addition to this blog. The buzz words of 2012 for many people could be "Life", "Change" and "Sacrifice" - with reference to the state of affairs around the world, and in particular in Greece at the moment. The change which in turn leads to sacrifice, always in the hope that it will lead to a better life or an improvement somewhere further down the line. Often without choice. Obviously this set of circumstance could be applied to many different situations, but I feel it's particularly relevant to what happens when someone is suffering from a serious illness such as Cancer.

Cancer is one of the few things in this world that doesn't really need an introduction (though I wrote one anyway!). Just mentioning the word "Cancer" creates an instant response, and hits on certain emotions within people. I think even people who haven't had someone they know go through it inherently understand to a certain degree how serious it is and they have an idea of what a person who has the disease will have to go through to overcome it. There is also the understanding that it will affect those closest to the person suffering, as it is impossible to see someone you love suffer in such a way and not have some kind of reaction.

As my sister mentioned in a previous post everyone finds their own way to deal with it when somebody close to them has the Big C (as it seems to be called here on this blog!). Personally I would say I have been through a huge range of different emotions and feelings when it comes to my mother's situation, which has been ongoing for what feels like (and is) many years, from a grudging acceptance of what is happening, through to utter despair. The fact that somebody you love is reliant on medication and " mathematical possibilities" of survival (from the less serious, "early caught" cancer all the way through to the most aggressive) is something that stays on your mind every day and is accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness that you can't do something more to physically help them overcome the disease. As Gemma also mentioned, we would both happily suffer with Mum's cancer so she wouldn't have to anymore, if only that was an option. Unquestionably though, all of us who care about her would be far worse off, as would she, without her incredible resilience and  point of view on life and living it to the fullest!

There is something to be said for being "positive". Suffering from "positive" cancer (i.e malignant and not benign) but remaining as positive as a person in that situation can be, is just one of the tricks up my mother's sleeve. I have read the many additions to this blog from her friends and close family, and can add to that list countless people who she has met, in some cases only once, who couldn't stop singing her praises afterwards and couldn't believe she was suffering from a such a serious disease. This is my mother's way, life and soul of the party! And that's never gonna change! Of course it doesn't mean that she doesn't then suffer for days afterwards due to her exertions, as the energy used while also being on chemotherapy leads to something akin to the mother of all hangovers, but it is the spirit of living she has that cannot be diminished. To say I am proud of her and the way she deals with this would be the understatement of the century. And it is from the way she goes about it that I believe makes it easier for the rest of us to cope. By rights she could be demanding this and that of her friends, asking why her son and daughter are not there every weekend to help, asking why other family members do not visit or contact her as often as perhaps they should.. The list goes on. But instead of that she is happy, nearly always with a bright outlook (perhaps the amazing, peaceful view of the Argolic Bay and the mountains behind  helps a little!) and eager to laugh and have a good time as much as possible. When she is going through the hardest stages of chemotherapy, usually the first 1-2 weeks immediately after a "session" these things become harder for her to maintain, indeed phone calls are usually off limits for those first few weeks so we tend to speak only online then! But still even then I sense her "trying" to be well, and trying to do as much as she possibly can because a bit like her son she cannot sit still for long! She also becomes my unofficial PR person on facebook posting my latest tracks and promo to her own page, something that I appreciate immensely and can only hope it brings her some comfort and satisfaction to know she doesn't have to worry about me quite so much!

I have many stories I could tell of hospital visits, wig wearing and strangely funny events that have occurred even though Mum was going through chemo, but I believe a lot of them have been covered here really well already by my fellow guest writers along with my mother and sister's own posts. I will just say that I know my mother and I, along with our family and friends, have many many more moments to share together. Without being dramatic, I have never known someone more brave or more willing to face what life has thrown at them than my Mum, she is an inspiration to me and my sister, and we know that she's not going anywhere! It is when you know all of these things about her that you know it's the cancer that has the fight on its hands, not the other way around.