My People......My sister-in-law , Gillie......

Another great guest blog has arrived! I was very happy and grateful when Gillie, Robert's elder sister said she would like to contribute her thoughts and memories to our blog! She tells me often how she thinks and worries about her "little" brother and myself. Lately the miraculous world of information technology (Facebook.....my total obsession,along with online scrabble and my  techno-saviours of late!) has allowed Gillie and I to communicate on a more regular basis than before, and I hope she agrees with me that it has brought us closer!

I would like to return  the compliment on some of Gillie's kind assessments of my character, because I have always, personally, had the greatest of admiration for her! She will tell you that she has suffered all her life from profound deafness, as if she has just been born with a small birthmark on her left buttock! This woman is a role model to us all of how to live with a major disability as if  it has little to no impact on her life! Of course I know this is not the case, but through her courage, determination and sheer guts, she appears as you or I ,to be able to hear every word you say! More than this, (she has chosen not to sign as a personal middle finger to those who think deaf people are any different from the rest of us!) because she lipreads so well, she can tell you what expletives the players or the refs are using in any given football game, or divulge the personal secrets of the couple on the next table in a restaurant! So, as we have been saying in all our blogs, life sometimes throws you a curveball, but if you throw it back, you can  find good in the worst situations!

Gillie loves words, she has a Degree in English, and it shows! There's another reason for my admiration..she studied for it as a mature student, but attended lectures and classes along with everyone else, her mum taking notes for her! Now THAT is brave. She saw it through and obtained her degree, despite her deafness!And for that too, I hold her in the greatest esteem!

She has reminded me of the little inspirational books she sent me a few years back, (just one instance of her caring, sympathetic nature)! I had not forgotten, they are on my bookshelf, but I'll admit, it's been a while since I dipped into them ! So I thought it appropriate to share one of the sayings with you as an introduction to Gillie.....

Deep inside us, we have a spirit of energy and determination,

A spirit that refuses to be broken.....

And we call this Hope.

Even when life's challenges overwhelm us

Our hope inspires us to rise to new heights.

Words and Inspirations from across the miles…………

By way of introduction to those who do not know me, I am Robert’s ‘slightly’ older Sister.  I live over in the UK, with the rest of the ‘P’ tribe (there aren’t that many of us, just Robert’s parents and his other younger sister Helen & our respective families.) We too have been following the highs and lows of Jacqui’s rollercoaster journey over the last few years, albeit across the miles. Forget how many hills, mountains or oceans there are between us…both Robert & Jacqui could not be any closer than in our hearts and minds.

It has been ‘hard’ at times, (for want of a better word) living so far away while Jacqui has been bravely dealing with cancer for as long as she has. There is an old English saying…“out of sight… out of mind”… but I can assure you that this could not be further from the truth.  Since Jacqui was first diagnosed with breast cancer there have been countless communications between us, courtesy of the global telecommunications network and that ‘trusty’ old airmail postal service…or should that be pigeon carrier or snail mail as Robert has jokingly called it?  Goodness knows how people used to cope before the invention of all this advanced technology at our disposal… Electronic mail, I-pads, Face Book, Skype, Twitter,  Androids, Blackberries, Apples and whatever other ‘cyber’ communications there are out there all, winging their way across time and space….. anyway, I digress.  Communications aside, we have relied heavily on crossing our fingers too (we all suffer with crossed finger syndrome) and we have often needed to reassure ourselves that when we don’t hear anything for a while that “no news is good news”….another one of those common old English adages!

 We do all appreciate that it must get very wearying for anybody suffering with an illness like cancer to keep being asked the same questions about how they are feeling every time somebody writes to them or phones them.  I’ll admit it got to the point that I felt like I was always ‘pussy footing’ around the subject desperately looking for the right words to say…those well intended and sincerely meant, positive words of encouragement that all cancer sufferers everywhere must hear over and over, time and time again.

 When Robert and Jacqui got married and left our shores for pastures new and their wonderful new life in Greece, we were very happy and thrilled for them both….nothing could have prepared us for the bombshell that was soon to follow.  I remember feeling a sense of shock and utter disbelief; it seemed so unfair that this should happen to somebody who was so young, fit and healthy. I tried to put myself in Jacqui’s shoes and think how I would feel if it were me.  I will admit that I was at a loss to know what I would do… although having lived with a profound hearing loss all of my life, I am all too familiar with the need to adopt good coping strategies when dealing with any of life’s difficulties.

But this is not about me and having a disability pales in significance compared to somebody who has a serious illness like cancer.  I do believe  however that any personal struggle or hardship can always be overcome by strength of mind and self belief … that was when I first decided that I would send Jacqui a book of inspirational prose, in the hope that this would offer some welcome food for thought….a bit like chicken soup for the soul.  I am sure there are some people who would say “Yikes!” and ask why on earth anyone would want to read a bunch of soppy quotes?   On the contrary!  I think many people underestimate the healing and comforting power of words and their magical ability to turn a life around. 

I know Jacqui has a favourite quotation of her own that “What does not kill us makes us stronger” (Freidrich Nietzsche) which is proof enough that words of wisdom can and do help in those private moments of need.

  I once worked in a busy hospital as a medical coder (many moons ago now) and I soon learned that cancer does not discriminate and every patient that passes through the doors of any medical facility is totally unique. The knowledge I acquired from the job alone has made it much easier for me to understand what Cancer is all about and what Jacqui has actually been going through on her own personal journey.

I have learned a lot about Jacqui’s strength of character over the years….she is an eternal optimist and she does not do ‘negative’ and ‘failure’ is not a word that exists in her vocabulary. Neither is she the kind of person who would ever dream of quitting. Think of a game of chess…. metaphorically speaking, to me  Jacqui is just like that single pawn that is not fazed in the slightest when confronted with ALL the obstacles blocking her way on the opposite side of the board!   I have always believed that her ability to combat her cancer battle for so long is down to her ‘kick ass’ attitude to life,  self preservation and her gutsy determination….She has a wicked sense of humour too and yes she can certainly sing and dance with the best of them!  As all Jacqui’s best buddies will tell you, she has many other talents too… and before I forget, she speaks several languages that also includes ‘canine’ sign language which she uses for Floyd their beloved and totally deaf Dogo Argentino! 

 The Jacqui I know loves life immensely, she is always great company, a generous hostess, a good conversationalist and she is very competitive too…I know this because she plays a brilliant game of scrabble!!  It wasn’t till I played a few games with her myself that I was introduced to words that I never even knew existed!  I honestly don’t know many people who can massively rack up their scrabble scores with just 7 vowels or 7 consonants!! Combine Jacqui’s intelligence with that unerring 100% resilience, bravery, courage, good humour, positivity, add to that the love and support from Robert who has been her rock, plus the deep love and affection which Gemma and Barnaby undoubtedly both hold for their mother…now in my book that has all the ingredients required for an inspirational winning recipe…..